News [CIN] Weird Things and Heroes in Sargasso

Discussion in 'Communications and News' started by Moogle, Apr 20, 2017.

  1. Moogle

    Moogle Administrator Staff Member

    Mass Effect - Uncharted Worlds

    The News Desk lit up, displaying a black and white MBF sitting at the desk in an adorably fitted suit. The Synthetic dog began barking as a cute (but not grating) voice was overlaid over it.

    "Good stellar morning. I am Mono, here for Cloverpaw Interspace news. Today, our top story - Weird Thing ravaging Sargasso stopped by daring adventurers. But first, financial news."

    "Tohr announced earlier this week that they had perfected the ability to put loaders into their TEC system, which means that the construction industry can cut down on warehouse supply costs even further. They expect to have the update available by the end of the week."

    "Gruppen Tanhauss is under investigation by Aleph authorities for financial fraud. Tanhauss has declared that the employees involved have been turned over to authorities. Not much information is available yet, so we will have more on that as it comes out."

    "In personal company news, we can finally announce that the MBF line has doubled in production due to overwhelming demand in all sectors. We look forward to another year. When we come back, our top story."

    The screen faded out as a hand placed a bowl of water in front of Mono. It faded back into a very stark, colourful propaganda-style ad.

    "Tohr Exility Capsules. Choose, pop, enjoy. Pack any of life's conveniences away into the palm of your hand. Bring them back out whenever you need. Convenience and Simplicity for everything. Tohr - the one thing you can't live without."

    The ad switched into another ad featuring a boisterous salesman proclaiming that his deals on skimmers to be the best in Aleph even though his toupee was very, very fake.

    The screen faded back onto the news desk, overlaid with the Cloverpaw logo. Mono was back at the desk.

    "Our top story: Sargasso's short lived siege. Earlier this week a Weird Thing appeared in Sargasso and blew through the local law enforcement. The creature was slated for a day of devastation if it had not been for local heroes dining nearby."

    "The heroes involved include one of the key members in the EAD downfall, a local business owner, a former mercenary, a foreign battlemage, and something that our sources can only name as a 'chelti.' The heroes handily hacked at the Adult class Weird Thing and took it out, thereby preventing it from wreaking all the havoc it would have in the time that it took for the UDD to finally arrive. Had these heroes not been there, who knows what would have happened? This dog certainly does not want to find out."

    Mono turned as the camera switched angles.

    "And now, sports news. This week in frame racing, Candor Medical has finally taken first place in a Full Run. They declined to comment on their victory, as they were too busy applying emergency care to one of Nepiu's members, who had crashed in the last lap. "

    "In the ace league, Harmony's Yuan Harrow pulled a last second victory against our company's Mr. Fluffy. When interviewed, Miss Harrow had this to say."

    The screen cut to a bunny eared woman with piercing eyes and her team's racing suit coloured cyan. "You dogs can't beat my kingdom's engineers. Challenge me any day of the week and the result will be the same."

    The package ended and the camera was back on Mono. "We at Cloverpaw wish Miss Harrow the best of luck in the coming weeks."

    "And now, celebrity news. Jillian MacNamara announced a new pinup calendar, featuring herself as the blessed Lady of Acceleration herself, Velocian! The calendar is slated for a midyear release. Former actress 45.6C.65.6E.61 otherwise known as Elena released a new line of sweeter slimes to her gourmet line, citing that the market was 'woefully bereft of it.' The Sucre Slime line is available in stores now."

    Mono returned to the screen. “This has been CIN. We hope you will tune in next time, and as always, shop Cloverpaw. Good day, arf arf!”
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